I just got Christmas and the New Year out of the way, I still get annoyed at myself for not being able to enjoy the social gatherings that go with it.
While most are looking forward to and always chatting about going out for drinks, dinner and night clubs, I’m spending my time thinking about how I’m going to get out of it.
I’ll turn up and go through the motions, make an excuse and leave early. Never drinking, I gave it up years ago, so I can always drive there and more importantly know how I’m getting home.
All through the night I’m in pain. Pain from controlling my anxiety to keep it all going. Keeping it all looking good on the outside.
But this is how I survive. And I’m not overly unhappy about it. At least I’m now a functioning anxious mess as opposed to the static blob I once was.
So roll on all those awkward gatherings to celebrate annual milestones, I’m ready to take you on. In my own way.